Ways We Self-Sabotage in Dating and Relationships 🤦🏾♀️
It’s been almost 2yrs since my divorce and I think I’m ready to get back on the horse again (🙃). Not the marriage horse(I’m cool on that 👌🏾); the love one 🥰.
Right after my divorce NOTHING was more attractive to me than my freedom! But now I’m starting to crave the emotional, mental, AND physical intimacy of a relationship 😬. So I guess I’m open to “dating with intent” as opposed to purely for entertainment purposes 🤭.
As I’m dating and talking with other singles, I have realized that we often get in our own way in the pursuit of love and relationships. Here’s what I’ve discovered🤓:
The “spark” factor: Everybody wants to feel that “spark”. I get it. But I’m learning that sometimes the best relationships are built from a slow burn…Dismissing every person that doesn’t ignite that “spark” IN THE BEGINNING could have you missing out on your next great love… which brings me to my next point….
Fools rush in: Love isn’t a race; it’s a marathon. And truly getting to know someone takes time. You need to see them in different settings, how they deal with conflict, and how their past and upbringing impacts how they show up in relationships. There are no shortcuts.
Not being vulnerable: And by “vulnerable”, I mean being honest. Everyone is so protective of their feelings to the point that it stifles connection. How are you supposed to find what aligns with you and what you are seeking if you aren’t being honest about what you want?
The bigger, better deal: Ever heard the parable of the drowning man? A man is caught in a flood and prays to God for help. God kept sending assistance in different forms but the person kept rejecting it. So he ended up drowning. Yeah, that’s what modern dating has become (🤦🏾♀️). Everyone is seeking “perfection”, rejecting potential partners, and ending up alone(😑).
Photographer: @eye.of.hvbris
If you are in the relationship market, I hope this list causes some introspection and puts you a step closer to finding your match. 😊
Tell me your thoughts. 🙇🏾♀️Do you need to have a spark in the beginning? Have you noticed other ways we self-sabotage in dating and relationships?
