Am I built for the soft life?

Photographer: James Pennie Photography

Growing up I saw my mom and most of the women in my family be the earners and heads of the household. They raised me to have my own…that I couldn’t and shouldn’t depend on anyone to take care of me. As a result, I pursued my education and career with vigor! And I thought doing so served me well…until recently.

“Soft Life” aesthetics, manifestos, and content has been trending. All over social media living the “soft life” has been depicted by pictures of women living in luxury and boasting about having partners who take care of them.

So what is the “soft life”? Well, the answer may vary based on who you ask but google said… The "soft life" is a social media trend and lifestyle philosophy that emphasizes ease, comfort, and minimal stress, particularly in response to the pressures of modern life. The trend is often associated with Black women and younger social media users, who may find it a refreshing alternative to the "strong Black woman" trope, according to Essence. 

So with a timeline flooded with “soft life” imagery, conversations I’ve had with men and women, AND my own dating experiences…I wonder… Am I built for the “soft life”? I was raised BY “strong black women” to BE a “strong black woman” and frankly, I’m tired.

In theory, living the “soft life” sounds great! 😝 But does it come at a cost? I have always associated having my own and being self-sufficient with freedom. And being the quintessential Gemini and air sign that I am 💁🏽‍♀️…I love my freedom. 🫣 So to have someone provide for me, in my mind, could result in a loss of that.

I have experienced glimpses of the “soft life”. But still I wonder…Am I really the type of woman who could be taken care of? Am I really built for the “soft life”? 🤔 I think I want to test drive it and see…. 😂

I have a feeling I’m only just scratching the surface on this topic. Stick around as I explore this more… But tell me, what does the soft life look like to you? 👀

-Chic-a, The Self-Love Advocate